its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life

Lord, how could I have been so far away from you. You have stuck by my side no matter what. Thank you for being so patient with me.

We played Mashpee today and we lost 14-3 :(
I hate it I hate it I hate it. But I can only get better!

what awesome friends!

I've had a really crappy vacation. 
Things haven't been getting done or anything been able to happen.
I only got to hang out with people for two nights. 
I wish I didn't have : a stupid phone, a stupid math teacher, stupid parents.
I wish I had: a job, a functional phone, and a car.






EHKHAJDHOQUWUPOQIOWUOPWUBLLAAAAAHH.

The Grinch play at my church is over! It was fun and I really enjoyed everyone I was with. Its what made it worth it. Sarah and I headed over to Emilys house after the play for her Christmas party! I love being at Emilys house. I love being around her, her parents are so hosptialpitable and her house is so cozy. I wish my house was like hers. My house isn't cozy, my parents are nasty and mean and tell my friends to leave.

Anyways, Thank you Emily for having me over!


And Merry Christmas to everyone :)

>

So today I went to the doctors, and he didn't know what was wrong with me. He couldn't figure out what was wrong because my knee is so swollen but I have a MRI on Sunday to see what the problem is. The only thing is he told me it might be my ACL which is a pretty important part and I might have to have surgery and I have heard that a lot of athlete's don't come back from it. I starting crying when I even think about it. I know I'm making this whole thing into a big deal, but sports are my life. I love running and being active. I don't want this to prevent me from enjoying that.

I AM SO SICK OF BEING CRIPPLE.

We won our second lacrosse game today! Thats makes our record 2-4-1. Caryn got a ball to the face and had to go the hospital. I hated watching the game today, I wanted to be on that field. I'm sick to my stomach over this.

I tore cartilage in my knee in my lacrosse game. Crutches and a brace for 4 to 5 days. I'm sad because I am so helpless and I hate it already.

I am so sick of myself. The way I talk, the way I act, they way I look, my habits, my attitude.

Freedom Writers was an incredible movie.

I am so sick of the feeling I get when I am around my church "friends".

Today stayed home from school to sleep and rest up. Yesterday the Lacrosse team ran for the first time and I pushed myself so hard. I almost blacked out and almost threw up. But still I pushed myself and thats what I wanted. I am so ready for lacrosse to start, I cannot wait to kick some girls asses. And for mine to be kicked too.

So on Friday, Curran, Caryn, Lorelei, Meg and I went to Currans grandmothers house and had a sleepover. We watched Boondock Saints and the Convent. It was fun :)
Then yesterday I had to watch my bro cause my parents went to a funeral. Emmm Bowls and Kim came and visited me for sometime which was fun!! Then I went and dropped my brother off at his basketball game and I left to go to Borders. Then I went back and watched him play. My dad freaked out at me today because I left the game and went to Borders. He said I disobeyed him, when he never told me to stay. I didn't do anything wrong. Ohh wait I forgot, Janine does everything wrong.
Last night was the last night Chris was here before going back to school, so around 10;30 we headed to his house to play some pool. Steve and Lou and Curran Chris and I ended up watching SNL. I feel asleep, haha. I have missed Chris and I wished he wasn't going back to school so soon.